She Trusts Me!

I came to Zirobwe on my first day in Uganda, and I fell in love with this place right then. It would be hard not to love the people here, the children, the community, the hot days, beautiful green landscape, and blue skies. These are all things that I am immersed in while in Zirobwe, and I could easily be happy here the rest of my life. The longer I spend in Zirobwe the more and the stronger are the relationships that I build grow. I frequently take long walks around the village going to visit different families that I have gotten to know well. And even though I am nowhere close to knowing all of the children’s names (I still meet new ones all the time) I have put so many names to their faces.

One of the families that I know consists of three boys and a girl, and sometimes their father. They lost their mother earlier this summer before I came. The father is often away and when he is home he can be abusive. When I met these children they had just become sponsored and they were getting ready to go to school for the first time in their lives. The oldest boy was 11 and taking care of his three younger siblings, the youngest of which was not even two. He used to always carry her everywhere and she would cry when he put her down. None of the four children smiled much; in fact it was clear that they were struggling with the recent passing of their mother. The youngest Nettie always had a permanent frown on her face and would scream if anyone came near her. 

It took many weeks before Nettie would let me come near her and hold her. Even so the frown stayed and it always felt like I was carrying dead weight. Still, every Sunday when I saw her I would run up to her and pick her up. I would hold her through our whole Sunday school service, often getting up with her to lead worship or the story. Sometimes, she would even fall asleep on me. Our relationship was completely one sided, she only tolerated me. 

I’m not really sure when it changed. This whole time I have simply wanted her to feel loved. No child especially one so young should feel so hurt and abandoned. Each time I held her I would comfort her and tell her that I loved her. Slowly, she stopped squirming when I picked her up, and she was content to sit with, and unhappy when I put her down.   

Then this past Saturday something happened that I will remember for the rest of my life.  The sponsorship day Christmas party was at our house that day and all of the children who are sponsored came for it, including Nettie and her brothers. It was her first time in Kampala and I saw Nettie standing to the side looking very overwhelmed. I ran over and picked her up as I always do. I held her as we did registration and she fell asleep on me right away. I debated laying her down inside but I decided to wait a little longer. When the music started she woke up. I remember she started playing with my hair (which I happened to have down that day), and I gave her a big smile. She had never really done anything but sit and I was thrilled that she was playing with my hair. I just kept looking down at her and smiling. And suddenly, her face completely changed. The deep frown, which was the only expression I’d ever seen on this two year old, was gone, and in its place was a beautiful smile. As quickly as it had come it was gone, but my heart had stopped for a moment. I didn’t think that I would ever see this little girl smile; I didn’t know she could smile. Never has a child’s smile brought me so much joy.

 After almost 7 months of loving her she finally knew and understood how much I cared about her, and she was happy about that. Later, that day after she had woken up again I received my second smile, and then one more as I held her before she left. Nettie’s smiles are very brief but they completely change her face, and suddenly you can see just how beautiful this child is. With her huge brown eyes a smile lights her whole face up.

 

The next day was Sunday and we always come to the village on Sundays to teach Sunday school. It was the children’s day here so the kids sang and preformed a Christmas play for the church. I had been in charge of the play and was narrating, so of course Nettie slept on my while I did that. In the afternoon when everyone else went home I stayed in Zirobwe along with one of the other girls. I got to hold her later and again she smiled at me.

Monday, I took it upon myself to scrub her down, do something about all the ringworm growing in her hair, and remove any jiggers that she had. The first two were easy enough. But I had to call one of the other girls to help me remove a jigger from her finger. I have removed a few jiggers from my own feet (they are something that you can’t really escape if it ever rains while you are in the village), but they are easy to take out and not very painful if you get them out before the eggs hatch. The jigger we found on her thumb was very infected and it was huge. I held her; kissed her, and whispered to her while Nahni used a needle to extract the giant jigger sack. It was bigger than her nail and left a deep hole about half the size of her finger. She didn’t cry the whole time. I can only imagine how painful it had been for her.

In moments like those I wish that I could protect her. I don’t want to have to take jiggers out of her fingers and feet. I don’t want her to be hungry all the time because it’s just her and her brothers. I don’t want her to grow up in the situation that she is in. I want to do something about it. Yet, I realize that only God can really protect her. I won’t always be there for her but He will. And for the time that I’ve had with her I have made a difference already. Even if it’s just showing her that she can trust someone and reminding her how to smile. That’s pretty big. And I am so blessed to have been that person who was there to hold her. 

In years to come, when I’m thinking back about my time in Africa, I know that I will think of Nettie and of the first time I saw her smile. Maybe one day, I’ll even get to hear her laugh. It’s something that I’ll most certainly be praying for.

This Is Life

Do you have a minute to listen?


            I’m sure you’ve heard that life is hard in Africa. That poverty, AIDS, and disease thrive here. It’s true. It is also a long way away from your nice, warm, safe, and comfortable home. Which makes it easier for you to ignore and forget about. But don’t. Please, remember that what you hear is real. Africa is a real place, full of real people. You might be able to live your life unaffected by these countries far away, but I don't have that choice. I live in Uganda.

How do you respond when there is a great need, everywhere? The children that you see are all hungry. Many of them not going to school or dropping out because they can’t afford to pay the fees. When you hear the children's dreams  to become pilots and doctors and teachers and know that hardly any of them will ever get close to their dreams. There are broken families, abused children, and poverty, everywhere. What do you do? Do you say “no” to the child who asks you for food, or shoes, or help? And what if there is always more than one child who really needs you?

I want to share a story with you. Not to make you feel guilty about your life but to encourage you. Life is hard, but you are still blessed. 

There is a girl who attends one of the schools I visit each week. We have become good friends. This is her story, just as she told it to me. 

“One day the police came to our home in the village. It was morning. The police beat my father very badly and wouldn’t stop. But beating him wasn’t enough, so they took him away. We don’t know what happened to him. Then one day they came back to our house and told my grandmother and aunt that my father was dead. I will never forget that day. I was only in Top Class, 5 years old. I was there and I keep asking myself why did the police come and beat my father in such a bad way. Why did they cause my father’s death? They made my mother suffer and she left. We had no way to raise ourselves above being poor. So, she went to Kampala to try and find a way to provide for us, but there is not enough money. While I was in the village I didn’t not go to school for 4 years. My aunt did not want me to go to school. When I was home working for them and taking care of the children I was not allowed to study. They were afraid that I would become smarter than them and they didn’t want me above them. No one could tell on them because they didn’t know that I was abused, and no one could take me away from their house. Who else would have taken care of their hens and pig? When my mother came back from the city she didn’t like how I was being treated. She told me I was going with her that day. When my aunt heard this she hurt my mother, it was very painful to watch. I was still young.  They tried to make me stay. But I told them that my mother and I were leaving for the city. My brother was now living in the city and we found him. This was in 2007. My mother started looking for a school and found this one. I started in Primary One. That same year the old house we were renting fell on me and broke my left hand. My mother wasn’t around so the neighbors took me to the hospital. I had a hard term because I couldn’t do well on my exams. It was a hard time for me but God helped me and my hand healed. I repeated Primary One.  I met a girl in my class and we became best friends. I know that God saved me, and even though we are poor I know that I am okay.”

I’ve known this girl for months now. She is now in Primary Six.  I see her twice a week. We write to each other. She usually gives me at least two or three letters every time I see her. Already, I love her dearly.  I can help with her school fees. I can pray with her. I can write to her and encourage her. I can make her smile and even laugh sometimes. She is one of the reasons that I am so thankful to be in Uganda. I have the chance to make a difference in her life. Not because I can change her life, but just by being a part of her life. I remind her of God’s love for her and the great plans that He has just for her. I can share my story of how God changed my life and all that I’ve seen Him do. I can laugh with her and show her that there are people who care about her. I can simply love her as I know Christ loves her.

She is just one girl that I know. There are so many others. I see hundreds of children every week. Some of their stories I know, many I don’t. I cannot help all of them. In fact, I can only reach out to a few, but I know that God see each one of them. He has plans to help all of them So, please, please, don’t forget about these children. Lift them up in your prayers. Find a way to help. You can sponsor a child, send clothes, pay for their food, you can write to a child. I get about 10-20 letters each week from children at one of the schools I go to. You can also support me so that I can give to the children around me who are in need. I often take food or things like soap, shoes, and medicine to those who I know are in desperate need. Feel free to email me with any questions. My email is shannonlundberg@yahoo.com

You can make a difference in a child’s life. You just have to choose do something.

Struggles and Joys of Living in Uganda

        Most days are really hard for me. I wake up tired and I go to bed even more exhausted. Each day is a struggle just to get through. Sometimes, I just can’t handle seeing another hungry child but that isn’t something that I can choose to avoid. There are days when I don’t want to laugh or smile because the pain I feel goes so deep. I’ve never been okay with how things are in Uganda or the world really. Every day, I am surrounded by great need and almost always there is nothing I can do about it. That simple fact is what makes each day a little harder. I came to the end of myself a long time ago and now the only thing that keeps me going is the strength of the Lord. I know that this is exactly where I belong, so I won't leave. The truth is, it's because of all of the hard things and struggles that I know I am meant to be here. I don't plan to walk away when no one else can. ;

 So, I forget about yesterday. I stop thinking about tomorrow. Instead, I simply focus on what God has given me today. I hate what I see but I find comfort in knowing that so does God and that He has had a plan in place since the beginning. And while leaning on Him I somehow find a way to open my heart again and reach out in love to those around me. Maybe I won’t be able to do anything against poverty, hunger, disease, pain, death, loneliness, or suffering, but I can walk alongside those who are already fighting these things and maybe I can bring them a little hope. God didn’t call me to Africa to change it, just to love people and humble myself to a place of understanding. So, while it can be very hard to see and feel success in the work I am doing, I know that I am serving my Lord each day and that is enough. 

                I want to tell you a story; a true one. I want to give you a glimpse into my life here and what I see and face each day. This is a story that isn’t finished yet, in fact I only became a part in this story on Friday. It’s a story about one of the families in the village, and a family that the Lord immediately laid on my heart. It was our last day in Zirobwe and we had planned to do some evangelism. To me evangelism simply means that you listen to people, that you open yourself up and are honest with them, that you try to encourage them where they are at, and try and meet any needs that they might have. This last part I feel is really important, because unless you show someone’s Christ’s love and meet their physical needs how can they understand His love and have their spiritual needs filled. I also believe that God brings us to certain people for a reason and He has given us everything we need to bless that person. 

Fred and Sarah

       On Friday we split into small groups and went out and tried to encourage people.  We were eagerly welcomed at the first house by a grandmother and her three grandchildren. She quickly ran inside her mud house and laid out mats for us to sit on and thanked us for coming to her home. She told us all she had to offer us was pineapple and asked us to sit while she prepared it for us. I watched her run around the small house stepping over a hen and its chicks while she searched for a knife to cut the fruit with, and I remember hearing a small whisper telling me that I was at this women’s home for a reason. Soon she began sharing her life with us and about all the struggles that she was dealing with. This woman was the sole caretaker of her three grandchildren and two of her sons who also lived there. She could barely walk on her good days because of extreme pain and swelling in her knees, and on bad days she couldn’t move. Her husband had died years ago and one of her sons had run away leaving her with his three children. The only source of food or income that she had was her garden, which was not ready to provide harvest for them yet. So, the six of them were living off of her youngest (12yrs) son’s earnings. He would spend the day helping dig ditches or working in someone’s field to earn 1,000-2,000 shillings, an equivalent of about 50-70 cents. With this money they were able to buy posho (a kind of flour mixed with water and usually sugar) and water it down to feed all of them. Her eldest grandchild Sarah was fighting malaria and had run out of medicine. In fact the first set of medicine the grandmother had borrowed because she was unable to pay for it, and wouldn’t be able to get more until she had. None of her grandchildren (ages 7, 5, and 4) or her 12 year old son Frank were in school. They didn’t have money for school fees, uniforms, or books and pencils. Both their saucepan and jury-can (a large can you carry water in) had broken. This family was literally living on nothing. I had the chance to share a little of my testimony and how God had healed me and saved me from blindness, and I prayed healing over her. Since this was a family that knew the Lord, we were able to encourage them and just remind them that He is our provider and strength.

Jajja, Me, Frank, Fred, Alowless, and Sarah

I also promised her that I would try and help because I knew that this was why the Lord had brought me to this beautiful family. I told her that I would try and find sponsors for the four children who needed to go to school. I already knew them from seeing them at Sunday school and Sarah was already very close to my heart. I had known for a while that I was meant to sponsor a child and had just been waiting for the Lord to show me which one. I knew that 7 year old Sarah was the one I had been waiting for. I knew that the Lord already had people who He wanted to sponsor, Frank (12 years), Fred (5 years), and little Alowless (4 years). I also was aware that God had blessed me the previous month with more than I needed to cover my monthly costs. I had been waiting for Him to tell me what it was for, and I immediately knew that it was for food and medicine for this family. See God always knows exactly what is going on in our lives, but what we often forget is that He wants to use us to bless others. He gives to us so that we may give to others. I had a chance to be a part of blessing this family and I was completely honored!

Yesterday, I went out and bought food, medicine, a saucepan, a jury-can so that I would be able to bring them to the village after church. Unfortunately, after getting sick last night I wasn’t feeling up to the long drive and asked my friend Hannah to bring it to them today. I was surprisingly alright with it. Of course, I wanted to be there. But it really isn’t something that was ever about me. I am just so glad that they were able to see that God provides for our needs. 

Here are some pictures of the family. If you would like to sponsor one of the children, please let me know! As soon as we get these children on the sponsorship list I will give you more information about it. Hopefully, in the next couple of days. But again, feel free to message me if you have any questions. 

Alowless- 4 years old

Sarah- 7 years old

Fred- 5 years old

Family portrait!

So, thank you to all of you who are supporting me, financially and through prayer, without you I wouldn’t be able to serve and love those around me. You are all a part of what God is doing here.

He Always Answers

I'm having a hard time keeping time straight here and I never know which day it is. It seems like I've  I've been gone for a very long time and yet I've only arrived. I am already missing so many of you back home, even though it has only been 5 days. But God is good and faithful.

God uses everything to draw us closer to Him, if we let Him. Selfishly, I want that to be the reason behind all of this. Him wanting me to draw closer to Him. But I know that this is about so much more than me. It isn't easy though. I know that my time in Ensenada is a chance for me to fall even deeper into His arms and I know that I will need Him to get through this time as well. After all, He is my Strength, my Comforter, and my Trust. It is Him who I will learn to lean on for each and every day.
It isn't that I doubt where I'm supposed to be. Or that I don't like it here. In fact I do. It's hard to explain but I just can't seem to find peace here. I am restless. I feel like my heart is already in Africa and as much as I try to find it here, I can't. It seems as if here I am only able to access my strength, my love, my joy, instead of His strength, love, and joy. It isn't enough and I know that. I can feel the difference and it hurts because I want to be alive here as well. I want to be present and useful to Him here in Mexico. I want to be doing His work because I know that this is what I am supposed to be doing right now, but I just can't seem to find myself here.

I keep calling out to God, asking for answers. His answer is always the same, "I am here." Which means that He is with me and that I can lean on Him. It also means that I have to trust Him with Africa while He is asking me to wait in Mexico. So, starting tonight, I let go of all that I'm waiting for. I want to see Him here, and if I am looking towards that future I'll miss Him because He is a God who is at work today. Which means that He is at work in Mexico and is waiting for me to ask to be a part of it. That means that I need to start each morning on my knees asking for His heart for Mexico, for today, for these people, for His children, for His mission here, for His never ending love and compassion. I want to feel His burning love here just as I do for the people of Africa. I want to laugh each day as I see His plans unfold and come to serve alongside His missionaries here. I want to end each day in prayer, praying over this country, over those I've worked with, for His kingdom to come here, for His blessings to pour out over these people.

I know that I won't leave Mexico until He calls me to leave and I am content to wait for that call. I don't need to keep asking when it will come. I know when it will come. When His work and mine is done here. So, with His heart for this place, I will rejoice that I am meant to stay here and that I have a chance to share His love with His most beloved children here in Mexico. I am so honored that He has asked and trusted me to serve here and given me a the opportunity to see His kingdom come in Mexico. Tonight, I will go to sleep completely at peace for the first time since I arrived in Mexico, excited for tomorrow to come and not wanting to be anywhere else.

We Are the Blessed

     This past week I had my wisdom teeth removed. I decided to have the surgery now because I didn't want them to become impacted while I was overseas. This wasn't my first surgery or my first time under and I figured that I'd be up and running after maybe two days. Well, it's day five and I'm only now starting to feel a little better. Last night, I was thinking about how such a small surgery can cause so much pain and how I had wanted to get this done. But then in that moment I was convicted. For a moment I saw just how blessed and ridiculously well-off I am. If I want to have a simple surgery even though it's not life or death, I can schedule one for next week in a clean, safe, and comfortable room. If the surgery causes me pain, I can ask for painkillers. If I need more painkillers, I just make a call to my doctor and then pick them up from the pharmacy. If I need to rest for a few days, people understand and are eager to help me. If I can't eat anything, people will bring me food or liquids. If I say I'm in pain, people are there to comfort me and make me feel better. If anything goes wrong, I go back to the doctor and they fix it. And through the whole thing everyone goes out of their way to wish that I feel better and tell me how sorry they are for me. Why are they sorry for me? Many people around the world are dying because they do not have any of these resources and they are in life or death situations, and I am complaining because of some discomfort while on my pain medication.

I am shaking my head at myself, how could I be so clueless and act as if I deserve better; I live the better already.

• Around 1 billion people don't have access to clean water, that's 1 in every 8 people.
• 1 out of every 5 deaths under the age of 5 worldwide is due to a water-related disease.
• Nearly 80% of illness in developing countries is linked to poor water and sanitation conditions. 
• Half of the world's hospital beds are filled with people suffering from a water-related disease.
• Around 25,000 people die every day from hunger, many of whom are children.
• AIDS kills 1.5 million people a year.
• Close to a million people die from Malaria each year and millions more are weakened from it, 90% of those people live in Africa.
• Diarrhea kills over 1.5 million people each year, most of them children.
• Pneumonia kills 1.5 million children alone, each year.

1. A single well can provide clean water for the whole village, and not only offer clean drinking water but clean water for sanitation and hygiene as well.
2. There is plenty of food in the world for everyone.
3. AIDS, Malaria, Diarrhea, and Pneumonia are all treatable and preventable. 

 

      It's pretty easy to complain or feel sorry for yourself, there is always something that could be better. Yet how often do we look at our lives and see all of the ways that our life is already better than most of the world. Today, I am in a little pain from getting my wisdom teeth out, on the other side of the world children are starving to death, dying from preventable diseases, and all without and any medicine. 

     Maybe this is how the world has been working for a while; some people have everything and others nothing. Maybe it's always the lucky ones who survive because they only look out for themselves. But this is not how it has always been, and this is not how it was meant to be. I won't accept that I am one of the "lucky" or "blessed" ones, simply for my own good. No, I know that because I have been blessed I am responsible to share my blessings with others. The more I am blessed, the more I will give and bless. Nothing I have is mine, and nothing I have was meant for me. Not even my own life. We are meant to bless others with everything we have, and that is why we are blessed so much. 

From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked (Luke 12:48b).

Summer Ponderings

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." 

James 1:2-4

Wow, it's been a really long time since I last updated my blog. I've started writing at least 9-12 times but I haven't posted anything since May. I guess the words just haven't come. A lot has happened and changed since I've been home, so, I guess I'll just try to pick up where I left off.

God hasn't just thrown me back into my old routine and expected me to fix everything, instead He has blessed me with change and given me the opportunity to start in a fresh spot. I wasted so much time stressing over the many details and when the time came God just opened the door I was supposed to go through. Figures, if I had just had a little more faith in the beginning I wouldn't have had anything to worry about. I'm really in awe of just how well God knows us and our every need. He always provides in our best interest, and blesses us so much more than we could dream of. 

Summer was a time of struggles and tears but also a time of new beginnings and so much hope. Of figuring out how to fit back into my life here in Redding and understanding where God is leading me to next. To be honest those last few weeks I was in Gabon, I didn't want to leave. I was fully alive doing what I have created to do and I didn't want to go back to a normal life. When I got home I struggled with almost everything. I was so overwhelmed and frustrated by how the world worked. I couldn't deal with the fact that we live in a world where poverty is accepted and ignored. I couldn't just fit back in and I refused to accept the world's conditions and standards. It's taken this whole summer for me to really find my place here. To understand why I'm here and how important this time is for me. To see how I am not the same as the world and I can choose to fight instead of accept.

The entire summer my mind has been traveling back to Africa and my heart aching for the people I left there. My only true comfort, was know I'm going back and that my "goodbyes" are only for a short time. Still, I wasn't prepared for how hard being home was going to be. I wasn't expecting the reverse culture shock to hit me SO hard. In the beginning I didn't want to go anywhere and I couldn't stand being around people, even my friends. I was miserable and feeling as if I had to put on a good face made it worse. At first people seemed interested in my trip but that didn't last very long. Soon after I got home I realized, people move on so much quicker than we do. Before I left everyone wanted to know about my trip. While I was there people wanted pictures and stories and sent me encouraging words. But as soon as I was home it seemed as if none of it mattered and I was expected to move on like they had. When that is when I really needed those people. To ask to for pictures, to listen to my stories, and give me those encouraging words! I came home a completely different person and was expecting everyone to embrace me and that change. That's not how it works though. People just want you to fit back into the place you left from. It wasn't until I understood that I was letting other people's reactions bring me down, that I was able to let those frustrations go. I had to accept that Gabon and my experiences there were pretty much meaningless to everyone except me, those I shared it with, and God. That I will be reliving moments, going through pictures, thinking of those people my whole life, but that I can't expect others to do the same. It isn't fair to either of us.

I have so much more I want to share but it's late and I don't want this to become a novel......so, I will add more later.