I really love that God has plans for me that even I don't understand, that His timing is always perfect, and that I can't rush the will of God. I know that if my life were in my own hands I'd be in trouble because I always live in the moment and never have any idea of where I'm going till I arrive. But God knows us better than we know ourselves and He has seen the past, is with us now, and knows the future. There are certainly many times when I have no idea what God is doing or why He is leading me in a specific direction, but I've learned that in those times it is vital for me to simply trust God. I don't need to always know why things happen the way the do or why they change, instead I should be rejoicing in the truth that God is always faithful and knows when it is time for me to do something else.
It's May 18th today, which means that I've been away from home for exactly one year. It's seems so long and yet the time has flown so fast. When I came here I really didn't know if I'd be able to make it this long, if I would be able to say goodbye and leave everything that I know and the people that I love and just serve and love the Lord. But it's been a lot easier than I thought it would be and it has been an incredible year. It seems like an even bigger landmark for me because I know that I'm going home early now, in two months. Suddenly, my time is almost over and this journey is coming to a close. I'm excited to be going home but it's so unreal to realize that in a very short amount of time I'll be living in the States again.
This past month has been one of the hardest that I've had since I've been living here in Uganda. It's been a time where I've really had to look to God for direction, clarity, and wisdom. There have been times that I've had no idea what is going on and had to trust that God knows everything and He knows my heart. If I'm being honest I still find it hard sometimes to accept God's will in my life, even after a year of being completely out of control. I can very easily get caught up in whatever I'm doing and not hear the quiet whisper of the Lord. In fact sometimes it seems as if the God has to hit me on the head with a hammer to get my attention. Then again, I've always been pretty headstrong. When the Lord started laying it on my heart to go home I wasn't so sure how I felt about this idea. I had my plans, my little schedule of my life, and I was comfortable with that. I didn't want to just let it go because to me it seemed like taking a step backward. So, I prayed. I prayed and prayed until I was sure that there was no way I was staying here in Uganda or going anywhere else but home. With prayer comes conformation and as soon as I knew that this was where God wanted me I felt peace and excitement. If this is what God has for me than I'm moving forward by trusting Him and obeying. I don't have to understand all of (or any) the reasons because it's enough for me just trusting in God. He knows so more than I do and He always has a purpose. In fact over the past couple weeks He's been opening my eyes just a few of the things that He has waiting for me and I am looking forward to the next few years so much!
God is God and I am not, and I am so glad that it's that way!
