“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.”
– Mother Teresa

Psalms 146:5-10

Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD their God. He is the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— he remains faithful forever. He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free, the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous. The LORD watches over the foreigner and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked. The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations. Praise the LORD.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Time to Wait


I like to always be doing something; a fact which I doubt would surprise anyone who knows me. I would much rather be following my heart or stepping out in faith than waiting patiently for something to happen. I can be patient, but it isn’t a word that I would quickly use to describe myself.
The last couple weeks I can honestly say that I haven’t been patient. At the beginning of the new year I had plans, dreams, and ideas about what I would be doing, how long it would take, and how I saw it all working out. I’m a dreamer, I get excited and passionate about the dreams that I have. I’ve never been afraid to step out in faith, to trust God to come through, or to make sacrifices. But I also get discouraged easily when I have to wait or when things change. In the past months I’ve grown a lot in these areas, but I certainly a long ways to go.
I can’t stand to waste time. I have to be doing something. I want to be in the village serving the children, spending time with God, building stronger relationships with the people around me. I can always do more; I always should be doing more. This is how my mind works. It’s is not the best mind set and can be a very draining one. It mostly comes from living in a third world country. Seeing the depth and greatness of the need here and wanting to give myself wholly to what God is doing here. The problem comes when I feel as if I am not doing enough or exactly what I should be doing. Yes, I live in Uganda. Yes, I go to projects and work with and serve children every day. But this is so far from ALL that I want to do. And often I want to do so much more than I am currently doing.
It’s a bit of good and bad really. As soon as God speaks I am moving because I am constantly listening for His voice, but if I’m waiting for Him to speak and I feel as if I should already be moving it creates frustration. If I had the choice I would be living in a village without any electricity, plumbing, or civilization. I would be living each day with the people, children, and community around me. There are so many dreams that I know will come into fruition in the years to come but the time just isn’t right yet.
I don’t really know why (the frustrating part), that I need to wait right now. Why I feel so passionately about things that I can’t accomplish right now. But these are things that I know God has placed in my future and will happen. It is just that often times I feel so strongly about them, I don’t want to wait until the timing is right. I want to be doing everything that God has for me and be as useful to the Lord as I can be. At the same time, I know that I am doing what God has for me today, and that I am most useful to the Lord when I trust Him in all circumstances. If I try to rush the plans that He has for me then I will not only miss a lot of what I am supposed to learn and do, but I will also not see things work out the way that I want them too.
It really comes down to choosing each day to be content with what God has for me and rejoicing in that moment. It means trusting Him to lead me when it’s right for me to go. It means still keeping my dreams alive but finding joy while I wait for them to happen. It means giving up my control, my desires, and what I think should be happening, and instead walking under His control, desires, and what He wants to happen. I believe that I will one day be exactly where my heart longs to be, but it won’t be on my own doing and it won’t be until the Lord leads me there. Until then, I will look to Him daily for direction and learn to be patient when it means waiting. Waiting doesn’t mean that I am not doing anything, just that I am doing something very specific; sitting at His feet, eyes on Him, hands raised, alive in that very place.

Saturday, January 19, 2013

The End of 2012


     Wow, it’s been quite a while since I wrote my last blog entry. The biggest news of the last month was my surprise trip home for Christmas. Within two weeks of finding out that I would be back for Christmas, I home. I spent over three weeks back in Redding and used all of my time to visit with my family and close friends. It was an incredible blessing and a gift I am extremely grateful for. It came at the exact right time and not only made Christmas really special but gave me the opportunity to see all of my loved ones and be refreshed for the rest of my time here in Uganda. I praise God for knowing me better than I know myself and seeing how badly I missed my family. I also thank those who brought me home for Christmas, it was the best Christmas ever and I am exceedingly thankful to you!
Holding Nettie.
     The last week that I was in Uganda I spent in the village; perfect ending to 2012. I spent Sunday through Wednesday in Zirobwe, and with all of my precious children. My favorite part was spending each day with Nettie. I would go and pick her up from her house, give her a bath, dress her, clean her wounds, remove any jiggers, feed her, hold her (often through her nap), play with her, and just treasure the time I had with her. 

Zirobwe children recieving shoes!
     On Sunday we gave out shoes to all of the Sunday school children. These were shoes that the children from my church The Stirring and other friends had raised money for. We gave out almost 200 pairs of shoes and will be giving out the rest (about 200 more) in the next couple of months. Again, thank you, to all of you who made giving the village children shoes possible, they were so excited and happy to have new shoes!

Zirobwe children
      We also had a big Christmas party in the village. More than 400 children came and filled the church. The party was so much fun and definitely one of my favorite moments of this past year. Of course, anything with children and dancing is going to be amazing!

Dancing with Kasuja
      One of the best parts of going home was surprising everyone. See, no one knew I was coming back (after all, barely knew myself:) I thoroughly enjoyed showing up at people’s doors, walking down hallways, and into rooms and seeing the looks on the faces of those that I love most. There were tears and looks of shock, and a lot of frozen people. But I was more than happy to be the one doing the hugging, after all I wasn’t supposed to be home and if I hadn’t been laughing I probably would have been crying too! I really did just spend all my time with my family and closest friends (including my best goat friends) and each day was filled with new memories, laughter, and a lot of joy. Thank you, to everyone who not only made time to see me but made my short time truly magical. I love you guys so much and can’t wait to see you in another 15 months.

With the Mosely boys.
With Claire and her goats!
With six of my siblings:)
With my Mom.
With my youngest sister, Audrey!
With my sister, Megan.

     So, now I am back in Uganda. I arrived last Saturday. I’ve been to the village on Sunday and seen Nettie. We spent the week in Kampala doing projects here, Sanyu Babies Home, Jaja’s Orphanage, Katalemwa Children’s Hospital, and lots of programs with the Neighborhood kids. And all of this was done without our vans (which are currently broken down), which meant LOTS of taxis and boda bodas.

The Neighborhood Children
   
   It has been great to be back in Uganda and to be dreaming about 2013. I am so excited about what God has in store for me and those here. It is going to be an incredible year!
 

My Nettie!