Living Out A Vision

There is such a difference between being passionate about something and living out the life God has placed on your heart. Passion is feeling something burn deep inside but that in itself is not enough, you have to be brave enough to let that fire lead you to do something. I am not content to keep the dreams and visions that God has placed in my heart hidden away from the world. He has called me to live them each day.

                I was fourteen when God began to tell me that He was going to send me out all across the world.  I thought He was crazy. Why would God chose me to speak or to go to anyone; a person who wanted nothing more than to hide from everyone and not be seen?  But I continued to dream of living overseas. It led me to start pursuing Christ because I wanted to know who God was that He would send me. And as I began to find God I began to see who I was in His eyes. And it set me free from the fear that I had let rule my life. And once that fear was gone I couldn’t find anything that was holding me back from living out that vision.

See God’s heart burns for justice. And He wants nothing more than to use His children to bring that justice to the ends of the earth. As His daughter my heart burns for the same thing. Often I end up over my head in something because I cannot hold myself back from moving when that passion is ignited in the deepest place within my heart. I have not been called to bring justice to the world just to be willing to open my eyes to the ones around me. I will serve faithfully and humbly and let God be in control of everything.

When I see a child, I see God. God is all around us and shows Himself in different ways, and to me I often see Him in the purity, honesty, and faithfulness in children. When they smile I know what God meant for beauty. When I hear them laugh I can hear God laughing along with them and celebrating in their joy. So, I’m not surprised that when I gave my future to Christ He chose to use me in a way that I would always be aware of Him. To serve a child is to let God to do great things. God has told me things about the future and where he is leading me but for this time the vision He has given me is about staying where He has placed me and loving unconditionally. I have so many dreams about Africa, about starting orphanages, about teaching the uneducated children in remote villages, about seeing a generation of children confident and steadfast in their identities in Christ. Yet, today I am simply meant to be here in Uganda with my heart open to voice of the Lord and my eyes open to see the people around me. So, when God tells me that a child needs a mother figure, or that a deaf boy should be given a voice, or that there are children who need a chance to learn, that is living out the vision that God has placed on my life. Putting myself after others and putting God first, so that He can do the work. It’s His hand that will lead people to His Son, it is His voice that will change hearts, and His love that will redeem lives. I am just here to serve Him and to love those around me.

And so daily, I ask God that He would help me to become more faithful, more humble, and more willing to do anything for Him. My hope and trust are in Him and He will always be in control of everything, including me.

I’ve included some pictures of a few of the precious children that God has placed on my heart and are part of the vision that God has given me.

"Mama"

I am constantly reminded that I am in control of very little and that God is in control of everything. There is so much that I do not know, things that are happening around me and those that happen far away, but He does.

     On Friday morning the four children came to Kampala so that we could take them to boarding school. Nettie arrived very sick. When we took her temperature it was at 104 degrees. I rushed her to the medical clinic where she  tested positive with a severe case of  malaria. She was put on an IV immediately. We spent the night at Ray of Hope since she was still on the IV at that time. Saturday she was able to come home for a little bit and then she finished her last 4 hours on the IV in the evening. Today we stayed home from church and the village so that she could rest. Hopefully, she will be better by the end of the week and will be able to join her brothers at school.

     The crazy part about the past couple of days is that it could have turned out so differently. Malaria is preventable and it is treatable, but it is dangerous if left to it's own. If Nettie hadn't come to Kampala she would not have received medical attention. With a temperature that high, she probably would not have made it. If she hadn't had come I would have had no idea that she was sick and wouldn't have been able to make sure that she received the best care possible. Things could have been so different if God had not been in control and watching out for my little girl. I just can't imagine if I had shown up today in the village and found out something had happened to her. Malaria is one of the primary killers of children in third world countries, and about every thirty seconds a child dies from malaria in Africa alone. This is the world that my baby lives in. It could have been her. It was so close to being her.

     I don't really have the words to express how thankful I am that she is okay. That I am the one who gets to take care of her as she recovers and makes sure she has someone to hold her when the fever comes. And that I get to spend another week with my beautiful Nettie. I would do anything for her, and I am so glad that God is watching out for her. I am glad that this morning she was able to smile again, telling me she is starting to feel a little more like herself. But the highlight of the past few days, was when she called me "Mama" for the first time. Friday was scary, yesterday was very long, but today was incredibly special. Just knowing that she wants me to be her mother and to care for her, truly means so much to me. I would do anything for her,  yet there are some things that even I can't do, which is why I am so glad that God is watching out for her. He is so faithful and His compassion runs so deep for His beloved children.

Psalm 91

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the enemy’s snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you say, “The Lord is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

The End of 2012

     Wow, it’s been quite a while since I wrote my last blog entry. The biggest news of the last month was my surprise trip home for Christmas. Within two weeks of finding out that I would be back for Christmas, I home. I spent over three weeks back in Redding and used all of my time to visit with my family and close friends. It was an incredible blessing and a gift I am extremely grateful for. It came at the exact right time and not only made Christmas really special but gave me the opportunity to see all of my loved ones and be refreshed for the rest of my time here in Uganda. I praise God for knowing me better than I know myself and seeing how badly I missed my family. I also thank those who brought me home for Christmas, it was the best Christmas ever and I am exceedingly thankful to you!

Holding Nettie.

     The last week that I was in Uganda I spent in the village; perfect ending to 2012. I spent Sunday through Wednesday in Zirobwe, and with all of my precious children. My favorite part was spending each day with Nettie. I would go and pick her up from her house, give her a bath, dress her, clean her wounds, remove any jiggers, feed her, hold her (often through her nap), play with her, and just treasure the time I had with her. 

Zirobwe children recieving shoes!

     On Sunday we gave out shoes to all of the Sunday school children. These were shoes that the children from my church The Stirring and other friends had raised money for. We gave out almost 200 pairs of shoes and will be giving out the rest (about 200 more) in the next couple of months. Again, thank you, to all of you who made giving the village children shoes possible, they were so excited and happy to have new shoes!

Zirobwe children

      We also had a big Christmas party in the village. More than 400 children came and filled the church. The party was so much fun and definitely one of my favorite moments of this past year. Of course, anything with children and dancing is going to be amazing!

Dancing with Kasuja

      One of the best parts of going home was surprising everyone. See, no one knew I was coming back (after all, barely knew myself:) I thoroughly enjoyed showing up at people’s doors, walking down hallways, and into rooms and seeing the looks on the faces of those that I love most. There were tears and looks of shock, and a lot of frozen people. But I was more than happy to be the one doing the hugging, after all I wasn’t supposed to be home and if I hadn’t been laughing I probably would have been crying too! I really did just spend all my time with my family and closest friends (including my best goat friends) and each day was filled with new memories, laughter, and a lot of joy. Thank you, to everyone who not only made time to see me but made my short time truly magical. I love you guys so much and can’t wait to see you in another 15 months.

With the Mosely boys.

With Claire and her goats!

With six of my siblings:)

With my Mom.

With my youngest sister, Audrey!

With my sister, Megan.

     So, now I am back in Uganda. I arrived last Saturday. I’ve been to the village on Sunday and seen Nettie. We spent the week in Kampala doing projects here, Sanyu Babies Home, Jaja’s Orphanage, Katalemwa Children’s Hospital, and lots of programs with the Neighborhood kids. And all of this was done without our vans (which are currently broken down), which meant LOTS of taxis and boda bodas.

The Neighborhood Children

   

   It has been great to be back in Uganda and to be dreaming about 2013. I am so excited about what God has in store for me and those here. It is going to be an incredible year!

 

My Nettie!

Here For A Reason

Psalm 59: 16-17

But I will sing of your strength,
    in the morning I will sing of your love;
for you are my fortress,
    my refuge in times of trouble.

You are my strength, I sing praise to you;
    you, God, are my fortress,
 my God on whom I can rely.

     Tomorrow marks the six month point of my two year stay in Africa. It doesn’t really feel like I’ve been gone that long, though maybe the unchanging weather has something to do with that since it hardly feels like its Thanksgiving either. But reaching that point in my trip does make me feel like I can wrap my head around this crazy plan of mine; I’ve been gone this long, what’s another eighteen months. I really have fallen in love with this beautiful country and its people. And I daily remind myself how beyond lucky and blessed I am to be living here and doing everything that I so love to do. I expect God to show up and He has never disappointed me. In fact, usually He blows my mind in the huge ways He works on the behalf of myself and others. I am exactly who I’m meant to be and I am so happy to be here.

     There days when I feel like I get so much more than I give. When a child expresses how much they care about me, and I can only wonder why. After all, what have I done to receive such love and devotion?  I want to share a letter with you. I was given it last week when I was at Newbrain Storm Primary school and it reach touched me. Reminding me of how the little things we do can have a much bigger impact than we realize.  The letter is from an 11 year old boy in my class at Newbrain Storm Primary school. Probably one of the brightest and sweetest of children that I have ever met, and I’ve met a whole lot of amazing children. I will mention that this letter was one of 8 that He gave me that day and that the others were very similar.

  

John and Me

           Dear Friend,

How are you? I am here missing you like my mother. I love you like my mother, because my mother died in 2002. But my friend you’re my best friend, and I can tell you about my life. Please, my friend, you are the one I’ve been waiting for, to be loved as a friend. My friend, I did not do my exams because I have no school fees. But as for me I am not really fine because since I did not take my exams I will remain in the P4 class. But I would like to go to into the P5 class. As for me, I will always love you as my mother because on Tuesday you made me not feel hungry. I am the best when I don’t feel hungry as I was. When I grow up I want to be like my Aunt Shannon and work hard like her, so that I can help people too. 

Thank you!

John 

And on the back of this letter he drew a picture of the two of us, labeled “John” and “Mother Shannon.” 

     I read this letter and started crying. Sometimes, I feel as if there is no way that these children can ever understand how much I love them and how much more God loves them. And then you get a letter like John’s and you realize that some how they do. It breaks my heart and means everything to me that these children whom I love SO much know that not only do I care and that I will be there for them, but that God will always take care of them. I work with kids who come from situations that are really hard, like John, who has no parents (his father left a while ago), is always hungry, and yet tells me that He always prays to God because He knows that God provides for him. It literally blows my mind. If I was in his place, I don’t know if I would trust God so completely. I wonder how a child can be so confident, when they have only ever been abandoned in their life. But that is exactly how strong and powerful and life changing God’s love is. It covers and reaches beyond everything and it cannot be challenged. And when you feel it, you know without a doubt that it never fails.

My Journey So Far...

 

Five months. It’s been exactly that long since I left Redding and headed to Africa. When I left two years seemed like a lot but time has flown. I thought I’d take this blog entry to summarize that past months. I’ve been to Mexico, Gabon, and now I’m living in Uganda. So far, this journey has been full of the unexpected and of great things. My mind has been blown so many times by what God has done and shown me. I am always learning; about God’s faithfulness, about what people really need, about what love looks like, about true generosity, about serving selflessly, and about what life should be about.

It hasn’t been easy, but it has been so good. I take one day at a time. I trust that each day God will give me exactly what I need and I don’t worry about tomorrow. I try to always choose love. I am learning to follow God’s voice each time it begins to whisper to me. Every day I am faced with things that are hard to see and that I wish that I could change, but I find peace and hope in the truth that Jesus came to save and set free. I trust in the work that He is doing.  I’ve been homesick. I’ve been burdened and weighed down. Yet God’s joy and strength are new every morning and are always more than enough. I have seen so many dreams and promises come true including ones that I had forgotten about. I am simply one of the people that God is using to show His great love to His people. I have never been more completely content to live outside of my comfort zone, and I do it daily. I have never felt more alive or so full of purpose and joy. This is exactly what I was created for; to love the least and the orphaned.

Ensenada, Mexico

May 22^nd- June 3^rd (two weeks)  

I flew from Redding to San Diego, joined up with our Envision team and we drove to Ensenada. Training lasted for three days and at the end of which our groups were supposed to fly to our destinations. I was on the Gabon team with seven others girls. All of our visas were denied and we waited and an extra ten days for our entry paper work to come. While in Mexico we built a bathroom for one of the local pastors, had children’s programs, visited an orphanage, went to the beach, and bonded as a team.

Libreville, Gabon

June 4^th- July 23^rd (seven weeks)

The Gabon 8 (as we were called) arrived in Libreville, Gabon on June 4^th. This was my second time to Gabon and I was very happy to be back and to see all of my dear friends again. I had spent the past year learning French and was surprised with how much that helped me communicate. My time was spent; working at the Hope House (a home for orphaned or abandoned children), at OSPAC (a medical clinic run by a group of Gabonese Christians), going on mobile medical clinics, and working with large teams that came in every two weeks from all over the world.

I also spent about a week at the Bongolo Hospital (8-10 hour trip by bus and 2 ½ hour trip by plane), though this was completely unplanned. I hadn’t even been in Gabon for two weeks before I was flown to Bongolo due to an emergency.  I had developed a bacterial ulcer in my left eye. Within four days I had gone blind in one eye and had started to go delirious from the intense pain. I was told after receiving immediate care at Bongolo I would almost certainly be flown home for more treatment. Needless to say I wasn’t ready to go home. I had come to Africa for two years and I meant to stay for two years. I had an army of people praying for me all across the world and by the time I reached Bongolo I was starting to see out of my left eye and the ulcer was shrinking. The next week was divided in fifteen and thirty minute intervals which was the amount of time between my sets of anti-biotic drops I was taking. Through this whole experience I knew that God was going to heal me and I was aware of the exact moment when He touched my eye. Within a couple of days I regained complete sight in my eye. This was the first time that I had personally experienced healing and seen God do a miracle in my life. The crazy thing was that during this whole process, I was okay with the fact that I could go blind. I felt so sure of the plans God had for me and I was fully at peace. But God did heal me and now I know Him in a completely new way. I know Him as my Healer.

Kampala/Zirobwe, Uganda

July 23^rd-May 2014 (twenty-two months)

My time in Uganda... where to begin; I may have only been here for three months but already it feels like home. Each week I get to spend time with, teach, play with, praise God with, feed, and talk with hundreds of children. These are all children who come from broken families and who are literally living on nothing. I have the opportunity to serve, love, and build relationships with them. It is all I have ever dreamed of. During the school term we often go to; one to two primary schools a day, secondary schools (high schools), a children’s rehabilitation hospital, babies’ homes, teach three to four times a week, have a program with our neighborhood kids, and spend Sunday in the village Zirobwe. We do children’s programs (praise and worship, stories, games, crafts) with the kids and sometimes have a feeding program. We also help with any work that might need to be done, for example at the babies home a lot of what we do is washing, hanging, and folding clothes. The school year is split into three terms here with breaks in between and our schedule changes with it. When school is out we spend three days every week (not counting Sunday) in Zirobwe.

                My favorite place in Uganda is Zirobwe. It is a village about an hour and a half away from the capital Kampala (which is where I live), it is home to thousands of Ugandans. When I first arrived we spent each week in the village and I got to know many of the children there. Usually, we do a lot of manual labor along with our daily children’s programs and just spending time with the kids.

 I love almost everything about the Zirobwe. I love the people. I love that it’s hot. I love doing hard work. I love what we do. I love all of the children. But there are things that make being in the village hard.  It is a place of extreme poverty. It is a place where a lot of people are hungry. Most families live on nothing. Their source of food is their gardens, which the mother or grandmother will tend to. They usually only grow basic things like matooke and potatoes and the garden doesn’t always produce food. So, many times they won’t have anything to eat. Most families live in a mud hut which they built themselves (I’ve helped build one and it’s a lot of work). They might have a spare set of clothes that they wear to church on Sundays, and may or may not own shoes. School fees are very hard to afford. It’s a life of a lot of hard work and manual labor. Getting water requires going to a well and pumping water into your jerry can and then carrying it all the back.  This being said, I’ve never met people who are more generous or welcoming.

When you go to someone’s house they feed you. Even if it is all the food they have for the day. Refusing the food is rude. Several times I have visited a family and eaten what they offered me, knowing that it was literally all they had. It is one of the most humbling and hardest things to do. Almost every Sunday a child will bring me food to take home. It might be sugar cane, or mais, or passion fruit. It is such a sweet gesture and I never feel like a simple thank you is enough.

One of the things that I’ve only started doing recently is teaching English. I teach at two different primary schools, Newbrain Storm and Victory. I’ve been teaching three P4 classes and will be adding a P5 class this week. I absolutely love teaching! It’s always been part of the plan to teach overseas and I am thrilled to have the chance to do so now. Last week, I gave one of my classes their first exam and they did wonderful. My class of 20 had a 90.8 percent average. I was so proud of them.

There are so many different children and families that I have grown to love dearly. I am so thankful for the time that I have to spend with them. I want to encourage, support, and lift them up in prayer. I’ve already seen some amazing things and I know that God will continue to surprise me. There have been times when a family or someone has had a serious need and God has allowed me to help them. There are children who I am finding sponsors for so that they can go to school. Just the fact that God is using me to meet needs here still blows my mind.

 

 I could share so many stories of what God has done here (feel free to look back at previous blogs to see a few), but this is already a very long entry so I’ll leave that for another time. I am so excited for the work that God is doing here and I really am just honored and excited to be a part of it. Thank you, for supporting me and giving me the chance to love these children and people of Uganda. You are all such a big part of why I am here and able to serve wholeheartedly. If you have any questions about how you can support me, donate, or sponsor a child please contact me.

May God bless you.