Beginning Of New Things

 One week is all it took for me to fall in love with them completely. One week of caring for them for me to realize that my life is bound to theirs. One week to begin to understand more about God's plan for my life, than maybe I've understood the whole time I've been here. I'm not surprised though. When God wants to speak, it's always life changing and usually happens in a moment. Moments that reach to the very deepest part of your heart and stay there.

A good story always has a beginning, so I'll start there. In the village Zirobwe there are four children who live alone. Syrous is 11, Jophasi 7, Ronnie 5, and Nerima is 3 years old. Their mother passed away almost two years ago. Their father is neglects them, is abusive, and is hardly ever there. He has other families in other village and takes food and clothes from his children to his other families. So, Syrous takes care of them all.

When I met these children in July they were all as equally miserable as they were malnourished. They never played with the other children. They never talked. They never smiled. Syrus carried Nettie on his back everywhere and they always watched from a distanced. On Sundays at Sunday school I began to take Nettie from Syrous (screaming of course) and hold her until we finished the program. As the months passed the children slowly started participating more and occasionally one of them would smile (the older three only). Nettie stopped screaming when I held her and started falling asleep on me each week. Then came the day in December when Nettie smiled at me for the first time. That was the day when I realized that God was restoring these children's lives and that I was somehow involved. I fell in love with Nettie and started dreaming of the first time I would hear her laugh and talk, of when I would see her running around playing with other children, of when I'd get to dance with her. I prayed over her future and my heart burned for justice in her life. Two weeks ago, I heard her laugh and I saw her playing for the first time. I praised God for these unexpected milestones.

Then last Sunday we brought all four children to our house in Kampala. They will be going to boarding school here and so they had interviews at their school. They stayed in my room and I took care of them for four days. I gave them baths. I fed them three times a day. I took them to the medical clinic twice and held a screaming Nettie down as they took jiggers out of her feet. I arranged for Syrous to have a tooth pulled. I played with them. I disciplined them. I showed them how to use a toilet and then cleaned up the floors when they didn't understand. I sang them to sleep. I stayed up late to wash their dirty and soiled clothes. I held their hands as when we visited their school. I scrubbed floors and mattresses more times than I can count. I made sure they were dressed and clean every morning. That they took their medicine three times a day. That their teeth were brushed and they were under their mosquito net each night. I held Nettie each night as she coughed and crawled all over me. The days were hard and long and I never got enough sleep. I was taking care of four children who have been on their own for two years. Who haven't had parenting or discipline. Who have been through more than a child should ever go through. Who speak a completely different language then I do. Overnight, I became their mother, we became a team. I often got frustrated (at myself mostly), but I had help though from two of the other MST's, and I always went to bed thankful for the day.

Within the first few hours of being home Sunday all of the children were smiling and laughing. Nettie was suddenly speaking full sentences to me (she doesn't really talk to anyone else yet:). She had kissed me and told me she loved me multiple times. In fact, over four short days I saw these children open up, talk, and play, in ways that I've only dreamed of. Now instead of just thinking about Nettie, I was thinking about what the future holds for all of them. They are a family and should never be broken apart. I have just realized that I want to be a part of it. Once you've become a mother you don't simple stop being one; even if your children don't really belong to you. Syrous, Jophasi, Ronnie, and Nettie, have always truly belonged to God and He has been taking care of them long before I ever arrived. And I have no doubt that He will continue to do what is best for them.

 I know that I will be a part of their future. If that includes adopting the four of them, than I would gladly accept that responsibility and beautiful blessing. The truth is, adoption seems impossible right now. They still have a father who comes around sometimes. I am single and only about to turn 20. All things that hold me back from adopting them. But I'm not in a rush, I will be around for a long time. I don't need official proof, I'm meant to be their mother. Nothing will change how much I love them already. Everything else is up to God. I know He has a plan and that I can trust them to Him. Maybe I'm not ready to take them now. Maybe they aren't. Probably none of us are. The truth is I am at complete peace regarding our futures. All I am thinking about is today. Soon they will be at boarding school here in Kampala and I will be visiting them every weekend. It will be the best thing for them and I will still be a part of their lives.

I used to wish that I could change things for them. That they had two loving parents, and that they could finally be children like the deserve. But what this last week has taught me is, that God has the same plans for them and started this journey a long time ago.

 Just a few weeks ago, I was struggling to find the patience I needed. I had no idea what God was doing or why I was meant to stay in Kampala. The year seemed unclear and lacked a direct purpose. Funny, how quickly things can change. But God is always faithful, His timing is always right, and things have only just begun...