Our Pursuit

In our pursuit to know God more what is it that we are searching for? And are we waiting for something to happen or are we allowing each day to change us? Do our lives look different because we know Christ and are living for Him? I often ask myself these questions and I'm not sure that I have the right answers, but I know that I will continue to search out His truth and I know that one day I will be with the one I am seeking. 

First, I have to ask myself honestly, am I on a journey to know God more? To me this simply means that I desire to being walking towards the Lord and that I would rather see, hear, and serve Him more than I wish to see, hear, or serve myself. Is this the case every moment, maybe not, I struggle every day. But even though I lose focus sometimes my heart still yearns for Him and I will continue to seek Him through the end of all things. If I ask myself what I would want most in life, the answer is clear and unvarying, I want Christ. I have found that earthly pleasures do not last and bring no joy or peace, yet the love of Christ lasts through eternity and brings complete joy and peace. Why would I spend my life searching after anything less than truth and why would I choose to serve anyone other than my Savior? I give my life to know Christ and to be changed by His great love and to be filled by His uncontainable joy.

I don’t believe that we are just waiting for Christ’s return. Nor do I think that each day doesn’t matter. If God didn’t have something for you to do then you wouldn’t be on this earth. If you still wake with breath in your lungs then God is not finished with you. It is simple to wait for the future, it is easy to remember the past, but it is harder to live in the present. Instead of looking towards what is ahead of you, we should be a part of Christ’s work here on earth today. And often He begins with changing you. How can we expect to serve Christ when we have not surrendered our whole lives to Him? If we don’t allow God to change us each day than how can He draw us closer to Him? I know that God has really been working in my life through the past few years and has changed me as I’ve grown closer to Him. But at the same time I know that I have a long journey ahead of me and I and my reflection often looks more like me than like my Savior. There are many things that I can feel the Lord chipping away at and refining so that I do not stand in the way of His perfection.

If I could learn to have a humble heart and unwavering willingness to love and serve every person that I see, than I would know that I have finally begun to follow Christ unconditionally. Living in a third world country has taught me that you can always go farther and do more to love than you thought you could. And while I try to live my life out of a servant’s heart and with generosity, I fall so short each day. My pride and competitiveness get in the way so often and I ignore the voice that is telling me to be humble and to simply love. Simply love. Such and basic and beautiful idea but so much harder to grasp onto and live out. I want that to be my life, full God, truth, love, compassion, and humbleness. We are changed from the inside out and I believe that this is a lifelong practice. I won’t change overnight, but if I follow Christ then each day I will become a little less self-serving.

Yes, my life is different than the average person that you might meet in a coffee shop or at the gym, but my life is far from as unusual as it could be and I believe will be some day. Just putting my education on hold and moving to Uganda for two years isn’t anything special or radical, but choosing to live my life solely for others can be. This is only the beginning of my walk with Christ and I know that my journey is far from over. In fact, this might be one of the moments that I look back on and think “wow, I really had it easy and normal back then.”  Life can be rough but when you are in God’s will and are trusting in His goodness, you receive more joy and peace than if you had been in control the whole time. I’d follow to the ends of the earth if He asked me and I’m not quite sure that He won’t, but wherever I am I hope that I am living my life differently and that God is being glorified. My life is pretty messy but with God all things are possible. And I believe that all things will happen in my life.